Hi bellapop,
I hope you managed to get some sleep and hope you did too purpleheart, I had about 4 hours so it’s going to be a long (hot) day!! I have re read your original post and can totally understand why you are feeling betrayed, he must have told so many lies over the years to cover up but thank goodness you have found out the truth eventually – they make you feel like you’re going mad with all the lies don’t they. Mine has never admitted it but time and again either I’ve found out after being suspicious and doing detective work, or he’s just vanished and not come back from trips to the shop/bike rides etc – normal routine is an apologetic text where he feels sorry for himself and I’m so relieved to have him back, I welcome him home and he’s great for a bit, then repeat! Some good times have been longer than others (mainly cos he was ill) and he is a great dad which is why I’ve stuck with it. His lies have got better each time he gets caught.
It sounds like your husband has had a problem for quite a few years which has now got to the point where he can’t even try to hide it – it’s good that he’s trying to get help – is he going to meetings CA or NA? It is likely to be a long and bumpy road whilst he tries to get sorted and unfortunately may or may not be successful. I get what you mean that maybe he’ll suddenly go back to how he was when you were happy but that will only happen if he stops taking that stuff – I’m guessing he would then realise how stupid he’s been and be trying everything he could to win you back?
Does his mum know what he’s doing and why he’s staying there?
Mine used to do this but the last slip up he’s had he just stayed in the house making our lives a misery being snappy and rude, mainly to me and I told him to go a few weeks ago but he just didn’t leave and that’s when he said he’d stop (again!). I thought it was worth a try but my heart wasn’t really in it if I’m being honest and yesterday he just seemed to flip and had a really petty argument with my son and kicked a football at him can you believe, then said ‘he started it’- I was like yes but you’re 50!!! – it’s the final straw for me but I’ve had 5 years of this rollercoaster and I have come to the conclusion it will never change and I just don’t want the rest of my life being like this as sad as that is….
I’m bracing myself for what’s going to happen next, I just hope I can stick to it this time….
Hoping you both have a good day with no dramas and, it’s Monday so we have to get on with it don’t we which is probably a good thing to keep us sane! xxx