Hi Purpleheart,
Yes I feel the same, it’s a relief to think about something else at work! The detective work is so draining, I have tried to say to him in the past that he should be proving to me he’s clean not the other way round but it doesn’t seem to work like that…. We were doing tests but somehow he was fixing them I don’t know how but when I tested the toilet when he hadn’t flushed it was positive-I got suspicious because sometimes he almost demanded that I test him then and there….
I’m lucky in a way as it’s my house so he will have to go if I stick to it but it’s all the other things – I feel like I’ve put 5.5 years of my life into trying to get his life on track and it will all be for nothing if I give up now, and obviously there’s our son….
It’s true it is lonely because you dont fully have them but also you put up barriers with your friends and family – I just want my life back. I should have not taken him back when I had the chance when our son was a few weeks old he got sectioned as he was secretly smoking heroin and crack – yes it can get worse- but I believed he wanted to stop and I guess I was hormonal I just wanted a family. The way I look at it is if he wasn’t there I could get a babysitter and do stuff whereas with him here I can’t rely on him but also can’t get any help so I’m just stuck!
I hope yours gets out of bed and pulls his weight! Makes you so angry doesn’t it how they can have lovely long sleeps while we’re stressing all night then up early keeping everything going.
Hope you have a good day ‘relaxing’ at work! Xxx