Hi,
Sorry just replying.
This might sound like a silly question under the circumstances but if he doesn’t want to be with u for all the reasons he makes u feel then why is he living in ur house, causing you all this heart ache and distribution to your family’s mental health. You 110% deserve to be happy and treated right and it is abuse making you feel worthless.
But I get it. We stay. I’m 11 years in and nothings changed. I don’t even have kids with him bcoz the alcohol comes first. Sometimes I wonder why I’m still doing this, I’m letting him control our life by his lack of control of his. But like u say we have good times too but do they make the bad times worth it, no.
I’m currently sat in bed alone while he’s passed out downstairs.. again