I ask myself this all the time.
He’s only been here a month but before that he had got to a steady stage. Was a lot better and deseperate to move forward so all felt perfect. This tells me the addictions are the issue but there’s always that niggle in my head maybe he really does mean all he says?!
When he’s sober and realises he is lovely, apologetic and admits he’s a nasty bastard with his mouth but each time it makes my self esteem drop and he doesn’t get that. He says all the time he doesn’t deserve me and he will be alone and ok if I look for better but that is awful also!
Last night we actually laid in bed watching a movie. At 10.30 he said I’ve got to go get a bottle of wine. When he’s bad he gets anxiety about getting to sleep so uses alcohol so we are back to that. There is something deeper with him for sure!
He tried to hug me but I went stiff and said all u said last night is hard to process. Instantly he was moody. It’s like he blames the drink but needs to also realise I’m owed an explanation despite that.
I asked for the light to be turned off. He just said no, I want it on so I went to sleep. It’s my wkend without kids so needs addressing. Like u said if he really doesn’t want to be here, pack ur bags this wkend then????♀️