Day 9 today and definitely over the worst. Frustrating that my legs still feel dead and I can’t exercise properly but a bit more waiting for that is minor compared to the perpetual cycle of pill popping, touring chemists and generally hating what I was going to myself!
Even the feelings of emptiness and sadness that wash over me periodically are easy to put out of mind as I know that’s just the chemicals in my brain being out of whack. The positivity of knowing I’m never going back makes it easy to rationalise those away – I really feel I’ve done it this time.
Reflecting on why I feel different this time, I always used to say that the problem with codeine is that you never have a ‘rock bottom’ moment that forces you to action. What I did instead is line up four or five things for August, September and October which I know will be miles better if I’m off the codeine so that I had the biggest incentive to do it possible. When you’ve got no real reason to give up other than a rather abstract notion of poor health at some point in the future, I found it hard to care enough to stop.
Fingers crossed this had worked for me but I’ll let you know if I fall!