Hi guys, hope your all doing well, well done Emmie for throwing away those pills. I’m really envying your camping trip, I saw a campervan and a motor biker yesterday and balled my eyes out. I think when I feel like this I just crave freedom from everything all the hurts and responsibilities. I’m still sort of tapering if you can call it that, I’m almost done in a week and the otc stuff was so weak compared to my usuals amount I don’t even know if it has helped or what. I’ve been through every emotion possible through manic angry cleaning to crying and crying and crying. I think for me that’s worse than the physical hurts though that’s no picnic, but I hear what everyone is saying and I think my heart and soul need to cleanse. I’m also giving up alcohol at the same time so maybe that makes me emotional too. I always use an app called Breethe, always have and usually listen too bed time stories to help me drop off. One story I’m listening too at the moment over and over is called stillness speaks, it’s about living in the present and finding your inner self and I’m finding it helps. I like us all it seems have used codeine and other stuff as a huge big emotional hug, more so when my mother passed 2 years ago. I cared for her at home at the end and my use went from more recreational too hard core, so I think now going through withdrawal is also me dealing with things I should have done along time ago. I’m going for a walk along the beach later with my dogs. I have an older lab and a baby staffy who I think was sent to me just at the right time because I wasn’t going to get a pup for one reason or another I had to take him on but along with my kids he’s a little light in my life at the minute. Him running up jumping on my bed and kissing the life out me until I get up and give him love and food well it doesn’t get better than that. He’s so funny. Wishing you all a good weekend and a speedy journey back to yourselves xxx
