Themidgetgem, I read your story here and it sounded so similar to my situation right now.
My husband, who is apparently sober now, told me he didn’t want me anymore and I then found out he had been sending flirtatious messages to someone else. We have been together nearly 20 years and I cannot believe the things I did out of love for him all that time, including keeping his alcoholism a secret for many years and then eventually helping him get into recovery. I now wonder if he really is sober, hiding that he’s been drinking again or ‘white-knuckling’ it. It definitely doesn’t seem like the actions of a normal human being.
I am deeply hurt by his actions but I know I don’t deserve the massive disrespect he has shown me by hiding how he felt, not communicating with me and going behind my back. I’m just scared of being on my own now having been together so long – and that’s without any kids involved, so I can’t imagine how it must be for you. You are a strong person and you deserve happiness.