Hi Ssw
While my situation isn’t exactly the same I completely understand what you are going though. My partner has been abusing cocaine for the last 2 years and using recreationally before that.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and cannot imagine doing it with kids, I know exactly the type of behaviour you mention my partner is the same except we both know and often talk about addiction. He’s still a nasty man at times and I try to separate the man I love from the addict even though it’s so hard. For you to put up with that for 3 years you must be so strong.
If he has stayed off it for a few weeks without any help that’s a great sign but what I’ve learned about recovery is it’s much more than just being clean. I would encourage him to seek professional help especially if he is open to it so that he can continue in his recovery without things getting worse.
My only advice to you is make sure you have support wether you stay or leave him. Don’t isolate yourself, I know first hand how lonely it can be to live with an addict.
There are support services you can use as the family member of an addict which may help with your own mental health.
I’ve also found the YouTube channel Put the Shovel down to be a great resource.
Sending love,
Sx