Thank you both for your replys im sorry yous are been put threw this!!
I also think he should seek professional help. (But i want him to go off his own back surely if he were serious this would be the first thing he would do ?) I never dreamt someone else actions could effect me so much. I feel its all to much to forgive i am not GOD the gaslighting and attacks became an everyday thing. Trying to convince me to go the doctor and get tablets as ” i am totally nuts and paroniod” i feel he crossed over from drugs to abuse and i just cant seem to shift that feeling. Its so hard to actually tell people whats been going its embarassing the shame so im glad i found this forum. Another thing if he seeks help will they involve child services this is something im terrified of if one parent presents them self as a drug user is it automatic that they involve the services ? I will have a look at the services for myself as usual its all been about him best of luck girls xx