How you doing today everyone?
I am so glad I found you guys. I had a terrible time yesterday and today feels much the same- total exhaustion but with anxiety at the same time. So I need coffee to be awake enough to work but the coffee just makes my anxiety worse. Last night I stayed at my wonderful boyfriend’s house and I had the worst restless legs AND arms. Jesus give me a break. I lay there all night trying not to disturb him but having to fidget anyway. I’m feeling really bloody fed up today. I don’t even know how I’m doing everything – I went paddle boarding and swimming, I went for a run yesterday- but please don’t mistake me for someone with any energy at all. Even making a cup of coffee exhausts me. I’m just pushing myself and praying being active helps. This place helps me- I was thinking of you guys and your journeys last night when I couldn’t sleep. I could have cracked- my bf has codeine in his cabinet- but I thought ‘then what, Emily!? Then you’re back to the start again. You have to get through this.’ I just lay there thinking ‘this is so awful. Take the tablets and start again tomorrow.’ Then ‘no. Think of the others on this forum- they can do it and so can you.’ Ugh. I think I spoke too soon saying I wasn’t having many withdrawal symptoms.