Hi Dragonfly, thank you for sharing your story here.
It’s so very hard to get into the mind of an addict. Whether it is drugs alcohol or some form of substance abuse it is so very hard for us to deal with our loved ones who are at the mercy of the cruelness that addiction causes.
Everyone here will understand the torment and turmoil addiction causes in a relationship.
You are right though – you must let the addict seek support on his own terms- when he’s ready.
I’m the mum of a 29yr son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. I know the pain and distress caused by addiction it affects the addict their loved ones, their career health everything. But they need to open their eyes and recognise they need help.
I wanted to offer you some hope, my son was about to lose everything about 2 years ago.
He reached out for support – joined AA and CA groups and attends regular meetings. He had a few relapses o the way, this is normal. To date he is 13 months free from alcohol and cocaine.
He is helping others now too. It’s been tough but it can be done.
Read Danman83 and Jamesb posts they are guys who are in early recovery too offering support and advice.
Definitely look after yourself, you’re not to blame for any of this. The addict knows they are at fault but will always blame others for their demise.
Please stay strong, have faith (I pray a lot!,) and look after your own health and well-being. Be ready to support him when he’s ready.
Sending hugs and prayers
Lx ❤️