Hi SSW, sorry to hear about your position. You might want to check my story, its very much like me with me being the hubby.
I did the whole despicable thing of making my wife look crazy when she was rightly asking the same questions of me and my behaviour. We become manipulative and master the art of lying that we end up seeing it as a bit of a game towards us continuing our selfish behaviours – we’ll do almost anything to get our fix.
The truth of all this is only HE can change IF he wants too. What you’ve mentioned is he’ll get professional help if you want him too which just isn’t enough. The pull of the drug is what it is but he’s got to take responsibility for it all and got to want to make the change for him, not for you or your children but for him alone. This is the only way it’s sustainable.
He’s got to have a complete mind shift in how he views himself, the principles and values he must align himself with. If really does this the transformation is incredible. Maybe a transformational coach would be advantageous?