I have just found this wonderful site❤️.
I have just ended a 4 year relationship, with a man who engaged in binge drinking and coke.
I have been heartbroken this last 6 weeks it’s affected my job, my mental health, physical health and my ability to function. I became so codependent on him something I would never thought I could be.
I have caught him 2-3 times having had coke or bringing it into the home (which I own) I have kicked him out 3-4 times in 4 years due to his behaviour whilst intoxicated (always got it thrown back at me as he called it abusive behaviour).
I have toyed with the idea of him being a narcissist in addition however, traits of addiction and narcissistic personality are very similar.
Oh the words I have been called and the aggression have been chilling. Always always I was blamed for over reacting to his “going out with mates”
He would disappoint 7 hr walks, go on binge drinks for 7-8 hrs but claim “I was back at 8-9pm it’s not like it was 4am” justifying his behaviour.
I started filming audio on the days he went out and came back as the anxiety in me caused me to forget actual happenings of what was said plus the stress and levels of not knowing how to handle him.
The sheer gaslighting is so obvious in the audios to listen back to but I could not see it in the moment.
I have been made to react in situations he caused and I would NEVER react under normal circumstances.
What’s so devastating is I utterly love him and would have done anything for him. I’m in so much pain that I was forced to remove him from my life