Hi ladies,
Where do I start?! Well we’ve been together 15 years, married 12. His use started at weekends, I’m not sure at what point it changed to beyond recreational, but it did, and you can see from my old posts all about what’s happened. It’s been a rollercoaster, and if I’m honest, if we didn’t have a child, I’d have run for the hills when I realised the extent of the problem. But I didn’t realise until after we had a child, or it got worse after that. Accusations of me cheating, shouting, massive paranoia, treading on eggshells, staying out all night, sleeping all day, hanging out with a crowd I didn’t have anything in common with (which made me a snob). My mood took a huge turn, and the stress of it all almost killed me.
But, 2 years ago it all changed, I’d like to think he saw the error of his ways, but I think it was partly that and partly our child growing older and noticing more, but mainly the fact he had started to destroy in his septum, this is years and years of abuse, like 25 on and off.
How did he give up: we did it at home, physically the withdrawal is ok, mentally it’s hard. He distanced himself from friends who did it, he spent more time at home with us, his family, he ate well, he totally gave up alcohol – I think this is important, at least for a while and then only to reintroduce it in a small scale. I don’t drink either now, although tbf I don’t care for it.
He had to make the decision to quit, nothing I could do could stop him. He talks about people he know who still do it in a negative manner now, his mindset has shifted.
He’s done amazing, I however have mental health issues still now because of the fear of it coming back into our lives. It’s pretty irrational but it’s there. I’m sure a lot of partner of addicts have this too.
I hope you can find comfort and hope in my story, it is possible to stop, but there’s nothing you can do to make that decision.
Sending love x