Thank you LX for mentioning me. Much appreciated ????????
Navy, pleased to meet you (albeit not under the circumstances you’d like). So it’s your hubby’s first week and congrats to him for taking the step. Now….bear in mind he’s relied on cocaine to channel his emotions or more like numb them. Now he’s facing life head on so deserves credit for taking his first steps. This is where I will slightly differ maybe from the consensus. He’s got to have the fight within him to recognise what’s going on, he’s got to dig deep and keep facing life. If you give him enduring love and support him all the way he might think well I fall off and relapse she’ll be here anyway. He’s got to face the consequences and he’s got reignite the fire within him to life a blessed life.
At the start it’s very much like anything new, it demands attention to detail and he’s got to keep practicing all the basics without the influence of substances.
Now you may ask, but all he’s doing is everyday things and he’s struggling with these. Well it’s probably been a while since he’s done these things naturally no matter how small it maybe. In my first week I was an absolute mess, crying, couldn’t / didn’t want to get out of bed, not brushing my teeth, not showering, eating excessively or none at all etc. It’s all part of the detox.
The bit about the friends. So what if no one calls him? This journey has to be his which he owns. By owning his journey he’ll present the best version of himself to the world and in time he’ll gain a new circle of friends through the vibes he’ll give off.
You’re walking on egg shells? Remind me what you’ve done wrong in this? He should be the one repenting and feeling remorseful. This is the truth no matter how much you love him. He has to make amends, not you. Support him yes however he has to accept his wrongs. My wife in the first couple of weeks didn’t really show much support, why would she? I was the cokehead who lied and became a narcissist master of manipulation. How dare I insist my wifey should walk around on eggshells.
Navy, continue doing what your doing. Don’t shower him though with too much support, it is he who must earn that precious love once more in my very honest humble opinion