I’m so sorry to read your story & what you’re going through. I check in on this site from time to time as it helps me after I went through a break up with an addict (cocaine) & it still haunts me to this day. No one really understands the living hell you go through & the mental torture & trauma is leaves you with other than people on here who have experienced it. My ex was such a great guy & that stuff turned him in to the devil. Leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I had no choice – he wouldn’t admit he had a problem (me finding out he was spending £300 a day on it & sleeping with prostitutes wasn’t even enough to make him think there was an issue). Everything was everyone elses fault, he would go out of his way to start fights & cause arguments as an excuse to use or blame me & made out to the outside world I was crazy – and he made me feel like I was!! I like you went to his family & they thought I was nuts. He made me the scapegoat for everything when we split up trying to hide the truth about his addiction- I had to move away as I was so embarrassed, humiliated & ashamed. The man I loved & knew was gone & I had to accept that & try not to take it personally – it was the drug, not him. It’s about them – not about us. The lies, deceit – you won’t even know the half of it, the depraved things I witnessed & found out – my whole world was smashed to pieces. Losing his home & me wasn’t enough, eventually his job went, all his money, he was left with nothing. While ever your partner thinks he doesn’t have a problem he will choose that drug over you no matter what. Cocaine changes the chemistry in the brain – His brain is telling him you make it difficult for him to use – his brain thinks it needs it to survive so it wants rid of you – simple as. He won’t feel anything towards you, all sense of morals, empathy – any human emotion really other than selfishness & self pity takes over. My advice to you – let him go. For your sake – leave & never look back. If you want a future like some of the poor souls on here that have been stuck in these horror stories for years then you can carry on trying to help him – but be prepared for the long haul & i’m afraid until he admits he has a problem you stand no chance at all. Miss Charlie will win every time. Stay strong x
