You are clearly an incredible woman and partner. Reading your post was hard because i know I behaved the same way your boyfriend is now and i would give anything to be able to go back and do over. Take the chances she gave me to change, take her offers of support and not see it as her trying to controlling me.
I’ve taken a break from posting on here recently for my own reasons but I couldn’t scroll past. I will however try to keep it short.
Your boyfriend’s relationship with cocaine will either be majority “lad lead” ie he started doing a little, now he is gripped and addicted to the feeling and has fallen victim to the point where the addict inside of him whispering in his ear is manipulating him to rid his life of anything that stands between him and cocaine. Or it will be using it to mask a deeper issue as cocaine is the most powerful tool to block out emotional distress. Either way he is clearly in deep and the drug is in control.
Ask your boyfriend to read some of my old posts. Show him my guilt and my shame and show him that there is nothing glamorous about cocaine. It will isolate you from everyone who loves you, it will take away your career, your friends, your money, your health until you find yourself at a point where you are longing to be back to the person you can barely remember you was when you was making all the decisions he is now and wishing he could change them.
My heart bleeds for him, as it does for you too. He is so lucky to have someone who cares about him the way you do. I hope he can see what he has before it’s too late.
Stay strong and no matter what make sure you take care of yourself too.
James x