Afternoon MJDU
You’ve got a lot going on, so ever apologise for doing the best you can to keep things together.
I understand your views on cocaine it is a sneaky thing. Until you see first hand the effect it has on someone and then the tentacles it weaves out, it’s hard to explain to anyone else. It’s also how the person in front of you changes and they cannot see the changes you see. What I do know is the impact of it on innocent people’s emotions, which is what it sounds you are carrying not only for yourself, but your wife and your children too.
If you can piecemeal the things out you can try to do that. It might make things seem achievable.
Finances – speak to the experts on this. There’s some amazing charities that can give you sound financial advice and possibly some legal direction on how to protect your finances.
Do you have access to a local drug service so you can speak to them about what you can do to safeguard you and your children’s well-being?
A counsellor is invaluable. I’ve used them on the odd occasion and as someone impartial to my world they gave some sound perspectives and observations on what was going on, and how my own behaviour could be adjusted to put me back in control of me and my life. I wonder if your GP might be able to point you in the direction of one.
It is natural you are thinking of your wife however she is an adult who has made her own adult choices. Granted the drugs have changed her for now, however you too are an adult and you can make adult choices for you, that will also be in the best interests of your children.
Your wife is on her current path until she wishes to change it. You can put yourself on your path too. It’s not easy because you are grieving for the wife and marriage as was, whilst still dealing with the now of what it is.
Any small step you can take to get control back for you and your family will help you take another step.
It’s an awful, painful thing to see someone you love suffering yet don’t underestimate how that will impact on you. Be kind to yourself you sound like a very caring man who only has love for his family.