Your husband can only comeback if he wants too. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink, as sad as it is. An addict only changes if they want too, not because you want them back.
You may have lost him for now but he might recover. Only real way is as a result of consequence. Again, I’m not going to tell you what this looks like. If he really loves you then in his deepest darkest hour he’ll see the light. If he doesn’t then you have your answer.
I’m coming to with you the advice above based on no emotion, as hard it is, emotions dilute decision making and shouldn’t be taken into account when making life decisions.
Your mother would be right, you’re mental well-being is being degraded everyday, your self worth is taking hits everyday, you’re not a baby sitter. He’s a grown man and he’s got decisions to make. If he chooses to shove coke up his nose to get his fix then let him go buckwild, it won’t end well for him but he chose his path.
You say your previous had multiple affairs and it must be your fault. This tells me your self-esteem is low. Again, taking emotion out of it, self-pity serves no purpose and only allows you to become of a victim mentality. You have to find the courage within to say that you’re better than this. If a man chooses to go elsewhere for sex while in a relationship then more fool him. Same with coke, always chasing, never content.
You hitting out because you found coke is a reaction to HIS ACTION. I highlight HIS ACTION deliberately, notice the clue in the title, HIS.
He can blame mental health (by heck I did) or whatever he wants but he’s living in a bubble. Mental health is heavily effected by cocaine use. I even took anti-depressants, saw my GP etc and it became one great big game. I even had my monthly telephone consultation while high so I know the lengths addicts will go too.
You’re not babbling, us interacting will provide comfort and guidance to all that read these messages whether you are the family involved, the addict who knows what I type of but fails to act or recovering addicts who can endorse what I say (and also help creates layers / barriers within the brain as to why they should never go back there)