Hi Gem.
You must be strong and keep yourself busy.
My wife is in the same position as you.
She sleeps so very much but I know that she needs to as the pain is intense.
She was clean for 3 weeks until Friday and she is now kicking herself as she was doing so well.
I used myself at the weekends but could see it creeping into the week and I decided that enough was enough. That was a year ago now.
Unfortunately my wife continued using without me knowing and it nearly destroyed her.
You must try and focus on the future now. Forget the past as it will only haunt you.
If at all possible avoid those who use or encourage you. If they know that you are trying to quit then they aren’t true friends.
Have you any family you can lean on? As that is so important.
Please Continue going to CA. Especially on a Friday. It really helps my wife as those who attend are all there to heal. Confide in them, let them in. Get a WhatsApp group txt going with those you click with as they will be there for you when you feel weak or tempted.
Trust me. Be comforted that You are not alone Gem.
You will get through this and be you again.
All the best
MJ