Hi onlyme. Feel very sorry for you. My late husband was an alcoholic, he also had the incontinence problem. I thought that it was from being a bedwetter as child which carried on into adulthood. It turns out that it’s actually a symptom of alcoholics, it’s very common for them and it’s shameful. I understand that you love him, but I also understand the total stress that this must be putting you under. I used to go to bed, set my alarm for 2am, get up, then try and coax my husband to bed. He had to sleep on a made up bed on the floor, as otherwise he would urinate in the bed. I don’t know how I coped with it……I left with my son who was 5 at the time ( now 16 and unscathed ). He used to refuse to wash the bedding in the morning and then I would be up again at 6am, after a chaotic night, to take my son to nursery, then to go to work. I paid all the bills and kept it all together. In the end it was just too much, I knew that I would die with the stress if I didn’t get away. Do you recognise yourself?? Think about what you are showing your 4 children. An alcoholic Father to them, is more useless than good. You have no obligation to continue with the situation. Let’s face it….you have 5 children. Really hope that you have the strength to leave, kick him out, whatever it takes. You don’t say how old the children are….I’m sure that they would be so grateful and thankful if you could remove everyone from the addict and the chaos that their selfish behaviour creates.
Hope that you find the courage to leave, think of your own health and that you have to be there for your children.
xxxxxxx Seeing it from your point of view only….