Hi qwerty
I’m so sad to hear your story, it’s an awful experience to go through, as you have read my story I wont repeat but I’m still hoping and praying that he will give up, I’ve given him so much support and his answer to me was to give him unconditional love, I can’t do that, I don’t want drugs in the house, he also has got so bad that his nose is collapsing, he has high heart rate, high temperature and is constantly unwell, I feel as though I don’t have a husband anymore. I confronted him one night in April and he confirmed it in anger, I left for the day, he contacted me to say sorry and he would get help, never happened, we rowed about it again a couple weeks later as I found the white powder in kitchen, he said he was struggling but would have to have 3 days to stay alive then go on a detox programme which he never did so he is on a third chance, he is still using but getting clever at hiding it but we went away for a night and when I was tyding up the room found the white powder on the table it broke me. I’m just waiting for the time now that he is well enough for me to tell him that I have to leave as this is now effecting my health, yet agin he is not well. (Continuing health issues always has a cold, flu, anxiety, temperature, racing heart)
There are other factors why I haven’t left yet and it’s killing me, I’m now suffering with anxiety and wake up during the night with the feeling that my heart is beating out of my chest and takes me an hour or 2 to settle back to sleep which In Turn is effecting my work.
If you have the opportunity to leave and stay at your parents then do it, if he can’t give up the drug please don’t make yourself unwell over it, it’s not worth it, there is a life out there for you. Don’t get trapped into the guilt trip.
I wish you well and am here to answer what I can.
Please read Kulstar story, he was an addict and has come through the other side I believe he has now been clean for 8 months he really helped me understand the other side, but they have to be honest and open to you and want to give up the drug for themselves not because you found it.
Look after yourself
Lots of love
Navy xx