Navy and Elf it sounds like you’re both in similar situations. It took my wife months to say to me that I need to leave and comeback when I’m of some use to my dear family. This was the start of a 4 day bender in a hotel on my own. Ironically this was also the end of my previous existence.
Only by my wifey pushing me out did I realise the pull of love, hugs and cuddles was greater than getting high. Initially when wifey asked me to leave I was ecstatic because it meant I could be on my own and sniff to my hearts content however reality was very different (eventually). I was left on my own drinking whiskey neat and had more bags than I knew what to do with. It was this moment I knew I was done with this chaotic lifestyle.
Moral of the story above? Consequence finally hit home. Addicts master the art of 2 things – Lying and Manipulation. It becomes a game, like a gambler who gets high off the anticipation of placing a bet and not the outcome. This is the sordid existence of an addict as we become so immune to emotion and the damage we cause to our loved ones to have our own selfish ways with the devils dandruff.