I’m so sorry ???? this must have come as a huge shock but slowly you had the nagging feeling that it wasn’t right ..and now you know the full picturr and sadly the extent of issues it can cause …debts rack up VERY quickly.
It does feel we were lied to, cheated. I am not sure when my husband became an addict …sorry to say I myself enjoyed drugs with him recreationally when we got together…I don’t recall him ever taking it too far though and we were both comfortable financially for a long time. So I don’t think he was an addict back then….something just changed, a few years after his dad dying he seemed to have some sort of breakdown. Then the last 5-6 years have been a blur really , his drug use over shadowing everything else.
Has your partner said he wants to get help and change ? Even if you stay with him and he appears keen to change please set some very strict boundaries. I never lend my husband money now…it never gets repaid and way I see it is one of us has to stay financially afloat. He is in a lot of debt …over £30k for loans , repaying for a V long time with some debt solution agreement .. I lent him £1000s on top of this …so did family….so the true extent of how much £ has gone on cocaine I dread to think.
So keep your boundaries.. look after you…if your instincts are screaming out LEAVE then do it now before you get more entangled.. don’t look back , don’t stay with him out of pity. Don’t waste your life like I feel I have done xx