Hi Navy . Kulstar and elf …
Posted the following but in the wrong part of the thread , so sorry if this the second time reading this…
My husband has been through the cycle of addition and short lived bursts of recovery (lasting no longer than 14-21 days max) for years now … Its beyond laughable when he says this time he means it.
I feel your words Kulstar really resonated with me about hiding behind mental health and it becoming a game. On the massive comedown from last week I feel this is where my husband is at …I feel guilty …he has admitted this time he needs outside help…but I think he’s just saying it to make me stay and for financial bail out… Until today he was very apologetic, making all the right noises about getting help , spoke to his psychiatrist got CBT stuff to do, attended meetings online… But today he was cocky one minute, next minute will be mad at me because I’ve reacted the wrong way to his claims he’s gonna change… I felt all day he was goading me. It ended with me in tears and sleeping on the sofa as I can’t stand to be around him like this
Just feel awful because deep down my view is he is playing a game…he got what he wanted which was getting out of any of his financial responsibilities for this month (he’s broke and for first time in 4 yrs I’ve had to pay all the bills myself and cover his priority debts ) …and he’s got some more.time off work…. Now that’s all sorted I find it all too convenient that the humble guy yesterday is now being cocky , sarcastic and flying off the handle /gas lighting me saying my reactions are spiteful , nasty etc when I know this is far from what I am .
Maybe i am wrong this time ..and I don’t doubt that in the moment he means it when he says never again .. but all I ask is for one minute he stops and has a think.about what this has been like from my perspective… Frightening when I think he could collapse or fall down the stairs at any minute …extremely worrying the debts racking up again … And frightening the dealers now coming to our front door . Yet he thinks I am out of order for having some doubts that he will stick to being abstinent from now on ????