<p class=”MsoNormal”>Hi Loulou03</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>Bless you, its nice hearing that these posts do provide insight and are shared elsewhere (sole purpose of doing this for me). He won’t pass out due to the cocaine, I could drink copious amounts of whiskey and wine (lager was just too weak!) while on it and wouldn’t pass out. When I wanted to pass out I’d stop the coke and just drink for 3/4 hours (what a mad existence).</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>Good that’s seeing a counsellor. I completely understand the talking on the phone, my wifey would always say I sounded different and I never quite got what she meant but looking back now it was so obvious. Maybe it was / wasn’t obvious to the person on the other end of the phone but cocaine makes you believe you have super powers. Session by night and operate as normal by day. I’m also in a relatively privileged position at work whereby I could do the bare minimum and it would go unnoticed.</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>Careful of the impact this has on your 9 year old, my daughter was 9 however luckily things remained relatively calm at home. I created this facade around me (citing mental health, even kidded the Doctors to give me anti-depressants) which excused some of my odd behaviour.</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>An addict will always know where his stash is so don’t really buy the don’t it was there explanation, he’s just sorry he got caught. I hear your pain around certain examples where he’s been under the influence, it just becomes the normal go to. I was taking it everywhere (even virtually in plain sight in a playground, I hid behind the bushes and took a line while the kids played) and you lose all sense of normality.</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>The fact that he’s admitted everything is a good sign. By admission he recognises he has a problem and you can only fix something by knowing it’s broken. Now will be the real test, what will he do with this incredibly powerful step?</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>You have nothing to think of in regards to how you are towards him. He’s betrayed you and destroyed your trust. It’s up to HIM to fix this. With my admission I know it was for me make amends. He has to do this for himself without thinking of others around him, this will provide everlasting change because he’s done it for himself and no one else. The only thing you can really do is take each day at a time. This will take days, weeks and months. Citing my timeline it took my wifey a month or so to believe I was changing. She had doubts and probably there is still a very little part of her that thinks this may come crashing down but this voice is drowned out constantly, with my / our existence now.</p>
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<p class=”MsoNormal”>The fact that he’s admitted – I can’t underline how powerful a step this is and letting go at this juncture may not be the best timing. If my wifey let go when I came out then we wouldn’t be experiencing the love and happiness we have now. Life when charted should show a positive upward trend and there will be blips along the way however if these blips are relatively short then the growth that can come out of these negative experiences really is offset (plus some) with the positivity that can come out it.</p>
Stay Blessed