Your heart will tell you he has nothing but your brain will tell you he had it all but chose cocaine. You’re not naive in thinking he can stop, he can if he really wants too. Sad thing with cocaine is the pull is so strong it hijacks your nervous system and then takes a grip psychologically making you think you need it to function.
He’s used to blocking things out because he can’t face the truth. He needs to find the courage within to break himself free from the prison of addiction. Have you noticed this is all about him and not about you providing support? My change came when I decided enough was enough and that I had to change. The consequences of losing my wifey and having limited access to my lovely children (which I hadn’t factored in) completley got me in the end. It had too as the alternative was a life without these blessings in my life. To lose all this because of my addiction? Something had to give.
Messaging other women, well that’s the drug and beast within enticing you to go there. You know full well that nothing will come of it but the beast says it’s worth a shot pal, you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain when the truth is completely the opposite. You’ve got everything to lose and nothing to gain, this highlights the hi-jacking nature of the drug.
You can take him back on the proviso he seeks help. You’ll know if he’s serious if he accepts he has a problem and takes responsibility to take decisive action to move forward.
Your comment around he doesn’t sound as a addicted as others sound on this thread is sadly misplaced. You don’t know the full extent of his addiction as addicts have an art of manipulation and creating illusions. Also many addicts start of lightly addicted (whatever that means) which then moves gears pretty quickly to becoming reliant on it to function.
I’d say all addicts are great within however have lost their way and need that internal shift to happen for a better tomorrow.