Wow this is sad. Also , I feel this deeply it’s similar to my situation , but before I dive into my story I want to ask you how were you able to forgive him having sex with 7 women ? I’m having a hard time forgiving mine and he had penetration with two women and 40 nuru massages with happy endings( hand jobs). I have major ptsd & I’m on the verge of leaving this guy because it’s too much. I think when a person cheats whether addict or not it’s more than the drug. It’s them wanting to be with other women. I’ll let you know about my story below:
so I found this thread today and I been needing help. My boyfriend was an addict for 4 years we been dating for 3 years and had our daughter almost in the first year of dating , during this time I didn’t know he was using I only found out about the using last year in February 2022 , I was crushed and didn’t know what to feel . I had a mental breakdown and at one point wanted to just end my life because it was too much to bare. I found out he has cheated on me with two women from the pool hall and he said he was sorry that he regretted it but I couldn’t believe it . I still can’t. He was hanging out with them 4 days before it happened so to me that’s pre-planned. I can’t believe that it was just the drug that was taken over him to do such a thing. He said he only slept with one once and the other twice but it’s strange to me. Also, he was going to massage happy ending places getting nurus which is pretty disgusting and he was doing that for a full year during that year I wasn’t able to work because I was with my daughter and he was working paying the bills & it got so bad he burnt through 24,000 in a year on cocaine and massage places . He was using every day and would go through one bag of $100 a day . It got so bad that he started asking me to help pay rent and I was so clueless this whole time that he was an addict and so I had money saved and helped pay Rent on two occasions. We barely had enough food in the fridge and I still didn’t get why he didn’t want to come home why he was out all day and would only come occasionally. I was pregnant while this was happening I thought maybe he is going through a lot because he had just lost a house he had because he couldn’t afford the payments. His family didn’t like me and they were giving him pressure about leaving me. So I thought maybe he is dealing with it by being away but he would always drink everyday so I thought that was weird . So when I found out about the cocaine it was because he had bags of it hidden in the apartment. I confronted him and he came clean that he was using said he would stop he stoped for 3 days and went back to it. I didn’t know about the cheating yet. Then a month later I didn’t feel right my intuition was telling me there was more so I asked for his bank account info and there was all the charges from the massage places. Pretty disgusting I also told him that I had a friend who was searching through his phone and that’s when he came clean about the cheating with the girls at the pool hall plus I saw he had purchased a hotel room one night & I remember that night because he didn’t come home & he turned off his cell phone. After I found that out I didn’t know what to do I love him so I decided to give him a chance he went to rehab but he went because he was scared to lose me yet I knew it wouldn’t work if he didn’t go for himself sure enough he came out and about three weeks later he went to pick up cocaine. I was about done with him at that point yet I felt like my daughter deserved to be around his dad if he was capable of getting sober. I think he hit rock bottom when he no longer had any money and I wasn’t going to give him any. He changed he has been sober for almost a year in June he will be a year.
he changed he become really supportive towards me and his daughter he comes home everyday but I struggle with the cheating , I struggle with knowing that other women touched him & he touched them . It breaks my heart and I don’t buy it that it was just the drugs doing that ? I don’t know its hard believe. I feel I have ptsd from everything the drug addiction, the cheating, the lies , and man it’s so hard to believe him even if he changed has anyone gone through this? I just feel like I’m alone. Maybe I just need to leave. I don’t know , I’m not even in the financial situation to leave. I feel stuck. I don’t have family either that I could stay with so I really feel alone.