Thanks for your reply. I have been talking to a therapist who encouraged me to reach out to support groups and focus on taking care of myself.. it’s just hard to know what that actually means… I like to be in control and so this is my worst nightmare because I can’t be in control of it. i go back and forth between.. ‘yes we can do this it will just take time’ to ‘if I need to leave, do it sooner rather than later as I’m just wasting my life’. There is no magic ball to look into the future but I just desperately want to know if we can get through it.
He has taken the first step to get therapy (I have been trying to encourage it for a longtime) and it really started to make a positive impact but when the going has got tough he’s stepped away from it and not going consistently every week – however he has managed to do it so that’s the first step right? He has a family history with addiction as his mum is an alcoholic so I think as he has started to need to delve in that a bit more he’s now running away from it.
I’ve read some positive stories but the most on here seem to be people going through years and years of pain and relapses and I just don’t want to be messaging on here in 10 years time with 2 kids thinking ‘I literally knew this would happen, it’s my own fault’. 🙁