Hi Jenna, your story is the same as mine only I have been married a couple more years. I am so sorry you are going through this. I found out in June that my husband was taking cocaine on and off for 1.5 years. I was and still am completely devastated. I didn’t realise initially how bad it was until he released for a while and never told me. That was worse than finding out the first time because this time he told me he wasn’t taking it. He has been clean from August, also seeing a counsellor but I just don’t think my heart is in it anymore. My whole body is trying to tell me “what are you still doing here its wrong” but here I am. I was fine for a bit but this week I’ve just been so down, like the realisation has just hit me again. Mine was also drinking while taking drugs at work so drink driving, disgusting I know. His parents are also big drinkers, maybe not alcoholics but grew up in a party house basically so I know those habits have rubbed off on him. How long was your husband taking cocaine for? To be honest I can’t believe this is my life. My head is telling me I should leave and that I don’t even love him anymore but the thought of selling the house etc is killing me, as pathetic as it sounds I don’t want to leave. He also loves me so much and is trying so hard at everything but I worry its a little too late. The thoughts are also constantly swirling around my head and I haven’t a clue what to do.
