Hi
I feel like my situation is similar. I’ve left my husband after his coke problem has been going on for years.
I’ve found messages to prostitutes on a couple of occasions, he has denied anything went on but I don’t believe it. He lies all the time about taking coke. we used to have a nice lifestyle but it’s got to the point where money is always tight and he says he’ll get help then the next day it isn’t a problem.
we started out as one of those couples that would go out and recreationally take a bit of coke when drinking but it’s seriously got a hold of him. He did it long before meeting me and I thing the problem is very deep rooted. No matter what it always seems to be everything or everybody else is to blame for it.
I’ve been out of my mind because I get accused of being controlling, and accusing him of using when he’s not (although he was) I feel like I’ve been gaslighted because I’ve doubted my own sanity.
I eventually had enough and asked him to go because I can’t deal with how it makes him. He sleeps, misses work, grumpy, snappy, nose bleeds, blows nose constantly, sneaky and the rest. I was hoping that it may make him realise what he could lose. But sadly it’s not the case. Now he says he’s not as bad with coke now I’m not around and I’m not what he needs.
it’s been blow after blow and it’s been the hardest loving someone and knowing things won’t ever change.
I wish there was a happier ending to it.