Finally walked away this morning.
Started the new year with lots of promises. Getting rid of phone and dealers number, stopping completely, keeping busy to try and stay on track. None of those things have happened. He may have made some effort to cut down but it’s been minimal. Still multiple all-nighters, come downs for days, moods, generally shady behaviour. I stayed with him for the last week. In some ways, I have come to expect the drugs at the weekends, he has some kind of ingrained belief that you have to stay up and party all night on a Friday or Saturday. Seeing him sniffing on a Wednesday afternoon after a country walk and a pub lunch was just the final straw. I’m not an addict so I know I’m never going to ‘get it’. But I am sure I don’t want that for my life. Anyway. I asked him and he lied to me. So, I walked. I love him so much and would be willing to support him if he took any tangible steps towards getting help and stopping. But he isn’t. So I am done and very much looking toward to weekend of being on my own, going to bed at 10pm and being extremely boring!
