Hi, Unfortunately I don’t have much advice to give. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone in this.
Guilt is usually what keeps us in these relationships. His drinking is obviously impacting on your life and you just need to remind yourself of why you made the decision to no longer live that way. You haven’t put him where he is now, he did.
In my experience it won’t get better, it’s a slippery slope with what appears to have no ending.
We only have one short life, do what makes you happy and stay strong in your decisions. I wish you the very best.