Hello everyone, I cannot believe I have found this page. Thank you. Finally someone is saying exactly what is in my head. I am hoping g that by keeping reading what you have been through I will be able to put my big girls pants on and file for a divorce.
So, here it is. I have been with my husband since I was 16, he was 18. We got married when I was 33, I am now 51. We have 3 amazing children 16, 14 and 11. My husband has always ‘dabbled’ although I didn’t realise how much. Last September my friend caught him picking some up at tge bottom of our road, I asked, he was nasty and of course denied all knowledge, hurling abuse and making me doubt my sanity. December I receive a white envelope, which he had removed from the house and put in the car, stating that we had a ‘charge order’ on the house and this is when the lies blew open. After this he left a wrap (used) in the middle of the floor, of course swearing blind it wasn’t his. I have found them in pockets, behind the sofa cushions. I have challenged him and asked him to leave for the sake of the children.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Until the last 2 months I had no idea how bad it is and how complicit I have been. He has had massive paranoia, he believed at one point that I was having an affair with my neighbour ( he has put a camera outside for ‘security’). He has said that the same neighbour has taken a contract out on my life. He actually believed this.</p>
He has paid nothing towards the house or children for 3 years, and now I realise not much before and I have allowed this to happen.
I found out 2 weeks ago that he was known in his old local pub for ‘it’.
He doesn’t go out, except work, he has jo interest in anything other than himself and berating me, when he lowers himself to speak to me. Lost the plot when I stopped doing his washing!!!!
I have asked him to leave he says I have more money than me and I should leave, I said it wasn’t safe, he lost the plot.
Sooo now I have realised, that this has been going on for 20 years on and off. It has now become a way of life, and I have luke a prat enabled him to continue this double life. I have spoken to a solicitor and she has said that apparently pornboften goes hand in hand with cocaine.
So I have now a husband who has more unopened letters than anyone could believe. Debts on the house, and a wife who cannot get rid of him.
So a question, how can I get him to m9ve out?????
I am at rock bottom, not sure how much linger I can cope, the emotional stuff. The two eldest chikdeen kniw we are splitting, tgey think it is money and some alcohol. I have 2 businesses which I have built. I employ 56 people, I need to function, I need to survive
Thank you for reading xx