Hi AnonJ
i haven’t posted on here in a while but wanted to answer you:-
You have nothing to feel guilty about. I feel your frustration and anger. I’m going through a similar thing.
I left him as it got to much for me to handler and I couldn’t live any more lies. It was horrific for the first few days he said and done horrible things to me. He then begged me to come home that me leaving was a wake up call. It took a few days of me deciding if I could live with him, he promised me he would do online rehab, he would include me and do tests……..I came back he was the nicest man ever, he was kind, caring and we went away for a couple of days of which he slept 3 out of 4 which I assume was the come down.
Work had issues which I know hasn’t helped but I been home 6 weeks and things have gone back to the way they were. He’s manipulating me. I can’t leave again, but this is so hard as I know he is doing it. I found it on the units again, he won’t let me clean his room (another sign) he is over eager, can’t stop talking and is constantly sniffing (excuse hay fever) yeah right.
I’m hoping to sit with him later to say lets get a date in diary for rehab to start as we are supposed to be going away in June which is 6-7 weeks time at least then he will have a start. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I wanted to ask a question. Do you addicts know how awful you are to us when we have suspicions (that are correct) and have stood by you, loved you and are trying to help. Is this the cocaine talking as we seem to be the bad guy. I’m feeling pretty low today and really just want to leave. I know I have to stand up to him as he promised me no drugs in house and there is. Why do you have to take it when you’re with us we are your wife your supposed to be comfortable around us.
I’m going to try and sleep now it’s been an awful weekend
take care alnonj and look after yourself. You do need to talk to him and let him know how this makes you feel when he doesn’t communicate with you as the trust is going to take a while to return. He needs to be reassuring you. I however don’t agree with a line now and then as it’s an addiction that will never go away unless he quits for good.
navy xx