Fayzey,
thank you so much for responding. As with the other two, I have read some of your responses before writing my own, and yours really resonates! Like you say, the alcoholic father. Even now at 25, I find it unbearable. The mood swings etc, which funnily enough I can see so much resemblance between my dad and my ex. Both have hearts of gold, when sober. But when they turn to the drink (and in my ex’s case, coke), they can become really awful beings. Whether that’s when intoxicated, or the day after. It’s horrible! It’s like I’m in a living hell being at my parents (thank God for my mum though), but equally, at least I’m safe from the worser hell of the home I shared with my ex.
like you say, I think we are susceptible to addicts. I don’t even think it’s as though our partners seeked us out because of this. However, I really do think that we have become overly-forgiving with our fathers which means we are overly-forgiving of everyone. We know that both our partners and our fathers are inherently good people. We know that it’s the alcohol and drug abuse that make them this way. However, being the romantic partner is far worse than the child in our situations. Which I think is why I can’t bare to see my son go through what I did, walking on egg shells, knowing that my mum (and what could be my sons mum) is hurting really bad.
sending lots of love and hugs xx