At 25, you still have most of your life ahead of you. And I don’t think you get only one love of your life, it’s definitely not over!
I don’t think your partner gave up, though I know it feels like that. I think he hasn’t been ready, hasn’t realised the extent of his problem, and hasn’t realised the grip it has on him. My biggest mistake was that last year when mines told me he had slipped up, trusting him when he said he’d sort it and letting him live in the home as normal. He was then able to do a couple meetings, never talk about them again, and continue deeper into his addiction while I was clueless. The only thing that made him get better now was the wake up call of him losing his job, losing me, and having to move back in with his Mum. I only kicked him out as I finally lost it after he had spent a week “going to meetings” but I discovered every day he had withdrawn piles of cash from the joint account – that he had secretly ordered a card for. I wish I had done that at the start and maybe it wouldn’t have reached the level it did. For him, it was either get better or you have nothing left. It seems ridiculous it takes that, but that’s how strong it is. And even when they realise, they have to really fight for it. A lot of them won’t make it.
I was planning a family with my addict and now I’m grieving what I don’t think I’ll have. (I have an already grown daughter who I had when I was very young, but I was excited to do it again with a bit more wisdom!) He often says to me that he would never have done what he did if we were expecting, but that’s a lot of rubbish. There’s addicts who will let go of their babies, their families, their everything, as the drug will always come first no matter the consequences. Even if he ends up sober for years after this I’ll be forever terrified of my world collapsing again.
Mines was never into brothels or other women but I think it probably depends on who he was before the drug. We do still have our fair share of trust issues as when someone has lied to you for a year, what is there to trust!
I’m glad he hasn’t been in touch recently as that makes it easier. It’s likely he will try and contact you and that’s when you need to be strong and make sure there’s boundaries in place so that you’re comfortable. Even if he realises what he’s done & wants to go recover, great, he can go do that, get to meetings every day, but you need to focus on yourself.
Stay strong x