Oh I know having another child is no longer on the radar for me. Even if he was to recover – he recovered before for 3 years then messed it all up, so will it always be in the back of my mind waiting on my life falling to bits again?! It’s horrible because he’s wonderful with kids, his nieces and nephew love him, my daughter loves him. But he chose to throw our lives away while we were in the middle of buying a beautiful new home, he let me run myself ragged doing everything on my own, I made myself ill. I asked him over and over for a year – do you have a problem as we can pull out of this house, please tell me, I can’t pay a big mortgage on my own. He lied every time. Him doing that showed me he would do this no matter the circumstances – baby or no baby.
I never say never as I took him back after he recovered the first time, so I do think people can recover. But I don’t exactly have a success story 3 years down the line! But I’ll always advocate that you as the partner need the time and space to think clearly and to move forward with your own life without them. It’s too hard to think clearly with their influence around you and they need to realise what they’ve lost. You take your time and if you don’t want to reply to people or deal with it one day, just don’t. You’re allowed to make up your own rules and your own boundaries to protect your own well-being after everyone you’ve been through. His Mum likely knows what you’re going through but she’s probably like the rest of us and has no idea how to deal with it x