M, I’m so sorry to read this. Your situation sounds so similar to mine – apart from the going missing for days. That sounds absolutely terrifying! Especially when you know he has the tendancy to be reckless. Does he go through stages of wanting to be clean and talking about addiction like its a burden and then the next talking about it like it’s a saviour and allows him to do all these things he wouldn’t be able to without the drugs?
How much more of this should we take? If this is what they’re like when we’re so kind and loving to them, what will they be like if we decide to leave?
It’s so hard to be in love with an addict, I feel my own self has been lost in the process and I’m just sort of in limbo, hoping he’ll decide to sort himself out. It’s taken years to realise I can’t do anything except support him, but at what point do we support ourselves?