Hi Navy,
Yes it’s very confusing! I really feel your pain and the hurt from the lies.
I hope for the same, even the 3 months to see what we are left dealing with mental health wise. U start to wonder who they really are without drugs in their system, I’d quite like to know!!! I know aspects are some are completely amazing. Sad really I don’t fully know him and I actually don’t think he fully knows himself. Such a shit childhood full of drugs, neglect and violence and lack of consistent parenting doesn’t make for a stable sense of self I guess. I almost feel as though I’m re parenting him sometimes. He was so excited to go horse riding on holiday the other day, like a kid as he didn’t really get those opportunities growing up.
Plus on top of his mum and brother overdosing his brother was murdered 12 years ago by his girlfriend while she was intoxicated. Step father died of overdose 8 years ago. Uncle and female cousin died last year of alcoholism. Some of his family are drug workers and drink socially but mainly the men in his family are cursed with addiction. I feel like it’s a waiting game as to who’s gonna be next. I’ve even tried getting his brother off heroine, he literally looks as though he’s about to drop dead.
I’m so so angry at the hell drugs have caused, nothings a wake up call.
I used to work in drug and alcohol field too. I had issues many many years ago with coke and alcohol and try to think back to how I felt sometimes but it’s a million worlds away from where I am now.
thinking of you xxx