Hi Fayzey, It’s not negative it’s all true.
Ur partner sounds very similar to mine.
I don’t know if he can ever get better to be honest at this point. I have a little hope but I don’t think it’s really sustainable as I think he’s missing out the part of reaching out to people in CA when craving. He can be completely functional when sober at times, that’s the frustrating thing.
He’s still missing, I’m so embarrassed the amount of times I’ve rang round and messaged his friends. I’ve sent him some really angry insulting messages now and told him to stay the **** away from me. The thing is I really do need him to come back as I have thousands of pound of parking tickets in my name as I got a car on finance for him which he pays but tickets come to me ???? and before I can properly give him the boot I want that all sorted. He was in a police chase a few months ago and the week after police put stingers out on road and popped tyre due to when he failed to stop, he managed to convince them the car has been cloned and he got a slip stating this and so we need to contact the places that issued tickets and send relevant information. I’ve cleared quite a few doing this but don’t have energy to do these others on my own, will take hours n hours.
I think he likes the idea of a good loyal clean woman and also the opportunity to get away from that life but like u said not completely ready to let go, it becomes a big part of their identity, drugs and crime and I do get it but not worth losing ur life over.
You’ve been really strong ending it but I can imagine everyday ur thinking about this totally confused and hurt
I knocks ur self esteem completely xxx