Charlie – you’re making excuses for yourself here. People can recover. Yes you probably can’t spend all weekend getting drunk and on the gear with your pals anymore, you need a new circle, and that’s what CA meetings are for. People can recover but you do need to leave behind your drug friends for new sober ones.
Pops – it’s really hard to understand what goes through their heads. And being on cocaine long term does not help their mental health either. He needs to want to recover for himself and you need to look after you. He should be at CA meetings, getting himself a sponsor, and making a real attempt at recovery. If he doesn’t you need to take steps to protect you and your kids as it only gets worse and this is your life too. I know it’s so hard when you know the amazing person they were before all this.
Narlem – don’t be hard on yourself for ending it when it all got too much. I did too. Sometimes I think that’s the only way for them to realise what they’ve done. I tried to support my partner for a year after his slip/relapse and it turned out he was using the whole time. The only point he actually went to CA and sorted himself was after I kicked him out. There might be something to be said about letting them hit their rock bottom. The hurt is horrendous, and mines has even attempted suicide, but I didn’t do this to us, he did. It’s up to him to fix this and there is help out there. Look after yourself as it really does take it’s toll on you x