Hey there,
I know exactly what you’re going through, including the intense arguments between mum and dad etc. I wish I could help, I think I gave up hoping for my Dad to get better after I finished uni. He is much older than my mum though, he’s 69 (I am now 25).
if I could go back a few years ago, maybe I would have considered the Crisis Team intervention – if you Google this followed by your area, it may come up? Also some AA charities in your area may be willing to visit (if you explain the reasons for this). But it would depend on how safe it is to do so – my Dad dismisses the alcohol intake talks. I wish I did this in hindsight though, as telling him he had a problem never got through, I’m genuinely surprised he’s still alive.
does your dad tend to apologise the next day/ when he’s out of his foul mood? My only advice is to put him straight rather than outright accepting the apology – although this again never fully worked with my dad, he’d just go quiet with me (but different people respond differently!)
I know it sounds selfish, but I seldom returned home when I was at uni. I moved straight into my second (then third) year accommodation rather than going home. Is this something you could do? Perhaps look for work now if you can if it’s the money issue that’s stopping you from staying there over the summer. I know you may be worrying about your mum being alone (I always did too), but sometimes you just have to be selfish – I’m still affected by my Dad and it’s caused a lot of trauma that I’m not even on the cusp of trying to tackle yet, please look after yourself first!
your dad sounds like a really good man (my Dad is too!) I just wish they found a way to seek help without hitting the alcohol.
sorry if this isn’t much help, I just wanted you to know you’re not alone and I’m thinking of you (and your family). Xx