Hi kulstar
im so happy your still on the right road. You’re doing amazingly well. Hope you and your family are proud of you.
I haven’t posted in a long time, I left my husband and it was awful, pure hell, the first couple of days was abuse direct to me and an attempt of suicide. It then turned into regret and love and honesty, I eventually went back on the understanding that he will get help, he promised and said we would do it together (it never happened) this is where my situation got worse. Work/life got in the way, stressful days, him not leaving the house for days, not having time to do anything (washing, eating, sleeping) I would come home and he didn’t have time to talk to me or eat with me.
Going away was the worst, panic attack, sweats, anxiety was sheer hell. I put up with it thinking this was withdrawal but it never got better, I found out he is still using as I’ve seen the speckles of white powder (and tasted it urgh). I’m so angry and upset I’ve gone back into my shell, he has told me that I’m not supporting him, I don’t love him, I’m not compassionate and I’ve stopped giving unconditional love. he says he has mental issues from the abuse, and that he loves me but theres no love coming back and I don’t realise what I’m doing to him. He just wants me to accept his behaviour and when he spirals to just say it will be ok.
I’ve lost my husband and best friend.
I just wish I knew how to move on, why do I feel so guilty.
Navy. X