Hi I’ve replied to you on my forum but don’t know why it’s so skinny lol but yes the paranoia is awful, my husband picked holes out if all our walls thinking I had cameras on him he said I was filming him and making money from you tube, he went through my jewellery and bits of earrings he was saying was a camera, he also accused me of cheating on him with his cousin who’s also an alcoholic and I just couldn’t reason with him, he’d follow me to work and just make out he was going that way, he’s in recovery now and we speak about all what him did as the list is endless and at that time it was very real to him faces in the carpet and he’d stab it with knifes I had holes in my brand new sofa that he put knifes through, when my dad passed he left me and my sisters so pocket money as my dad called it, it was 2000 pounds and my husband Stole it and said it was money made from me filming him even though he saw my mum give it to me but he thought everyone was in on it! I did get the money back but it wasn’t the same as it wasn’t my dads money what he’d saved for me while dying with cancer, but the paranoia and psychosis was that bad social services got involved and we wasn’t allowed to stay at home with the children it’s was just awful.
Like I’ve said he’s in recovery and has a really good mind set at the moment but his bomb shell he dropped on us 6 weeks ago about his affair 5 years ago and this 5 year old child that he sees everyweek is now just another heartache and battle coz he’s trying to do the right thing but I just feel that’s not by us, his wife of 30 years and his 3 children, I’m truly heartbroken ???? I don’t feel he’s trying with us as he says he’s trying to find himself again but how is that fair on us, the ones who have been through absolutely everything, I’ve tryed to get help for my own mental health but waiting list is 12 months!! I need help now ????
Sorry to rant on but why is this still soooooo flipping hard ????