I am still with him sort of but at arms length while he goes through recovery. I see him a few times a week and we keep in touch but that’s all for now.
You can’t fix another person by just being a good person yourself, much as you might want to. I’ve been in relationships even before this one when I told myself I would help him and we’d make it work – it’s a recipe for disaster. I think it’s clear from how you’ve dealt with this that you’ve not had the best experiences before but this might be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. What I’ve dealt with over the last 6 months I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and I’m only still here as he had 3 whole years of sobriety and happiness with me before he messed it all up again, so I know he can do this. But he was an addict when we first met 6 years ago, and I left him within 8 months as I wasn’t sticking around while he messed up both our lives. He only got sober after I left – both times. I was sitting reading books on cocaine addiction and trying to help him, and he was out there absolutely full of it 24/7. You can only do so much.
It’s not even just the addiction but what comes with it. The lack of trust is one thing, but their erratic behaviour can mean you end up with enemies at your door. The financial abuse – there’s women on these forums who have an almost lost their homes because of this. Never feeling settled, never feeling like everything is okay as you’re waiting on the next bit of bad news. And if you read other ladies stories, I actually look like a lucky one as a lot of them have had so much verbal abuse, accusations and hell from their paranoid partner to top it off.
Being single will not kill you and you don’t deserve a life filled with heartache. Keep in touch with him by all means long as it doesn’t harm you, but put yourself first x