Thanks for all the love guys, much appreciated.
Navy it’s all too familiar a story I’m afraid. Addicts will convince themselves that no matter how bad it gets, their loved ones will always be there. By heck in my so called heyday I had accepted that I’d probably end up losing my wife and inadvertently preferred the white stuff over her. That’s how strong it is. My turning point was missing my son’s football match which is not something I ever imagined. You never quite know when the turning point will come. I can’t tell you what you need to do however addicts need consequence else they live in this merry little bubble. As severe the consequences always remember it’s not your fault. He’s prompting these actions from you and he’ll use every trick in the book to make you believe you’re in the wrong, not supportive or compassionate. We become manipulative, masters of lying, smoke and mirrors etc. Talk of suicide when he’s created this mess himself is the classic default when you’ve got no more options left. It sounds harsh but it’s the truth. You’d never want anyone to commit such an act but you can’t be held accountable for another adults actions.
Your partner has got used to you being there no matter what he says or does, IMO and as Paw has said, self care and putting yourself first is paramount. There is only so much assistance you can provide. There is no truer statement than you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. If he’s lucky and blessed he’ll seek real help but he needs a severe catalyst for this to happen. Currently this catalyst just isn’t happening. I do get quite frustrated at times hearing of such situations as you feel like shaking someone pleading them to wake up. Reality is though in my heyday if someone had done that it still wouldn’t have worked. Acceptance of ones own problems for me is half way to a meaningful recovery. No amount of forced intervention is sustainable. One has to accept who they have become before they make a meaningful change. I still hold dearly to my heart who I had become as a reminder (in a positive way) never to go back on that path ever again, it really served no purpose. The so called short term pleasure I was seeking was a mere fallacy. It was true that the Emperor really wan’t wearing any Clothes. I had convinced myself for so long that he was.
ThisTim, I will endeavour to post more my friend.