I’m 30, my mum died from alcohol 2 years ago. I remember university very vividly because I refused to go home during summer as she was awful and it was unsafe there. It was hard to get support from uni because we weren’t “estranged” in the legal definition but we were in every sense of the word.
It is very much ok to want to not go back, to finally spend some time for yourself and to be your own person. It’s not selfish. You will think it’s selfish, but it isn’t. You do not owe your life to someone else’s addiction. If your dad is being offered support and he isn’t taking it, that’s not your problem. He needs to take some ownership over his illness and the impact it’s having on the rest of your family.
He will need to go to his GP to get help with detox, which will be more likely than getting a rehab place.
But, what about you? What about your mum? What support are you getting and what do you need to start to heal from this?