Hi Ceelen,
My heart breaks for what you and your children have been through, I’m so sorry. How you’re still standing after dealing with this for a decade I don’t know!
I understand why you feel the way you do and I hear you. I don’t think I’m in the situation of needing Women’s Aid and I work in law myself so unfortunately I know what my options are, and they are limited. We moved into a new build with a big deposit from his Mum and selling so soon isn’t an option I want to go down. Which is why I am still angry as I would have more options if he’d been honest.,I am livid at what he has done but I do acknowledge he isn’t a monster, he does hate himself for what he has done to us and aside from the addiction, he has never done anything remotely abusive to me. He is without a doubt the best man I have ever been in a relationship with, the love of my life and my soulmate, which makes even thinking about the way forward all the more difficult. My daughter is 18 in September and we’re focusing on us at the moment.
He isn’t in rehab, he has had two suicide attempts since I kicked him out, one of which led to him being in an induced coma for a week. He currently has a few months sober since the last attempt, and is at meetings most of the week. He isn’t around us all the time and that’s what we need just now, and in time I might need to make the big decisions I’m putting off just now.
I hope you and your kids find your peace after all the chaos x