I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s terrible to go through. My partner drinks regularly which I can cope with but goes on these crack binges whenever he has free cash. It took me a long time to realise what he was upto disappearing and turning his phone off etc. Four years ago it all came to light. I gave him the ultimatum and things calmed down but it has always still been there and I just put up with it. Lately he had more funds and the problem is worse than ever like every 2 weeks an he comes back skint. Promise after promise he will change. It has me on pins and I feel at my wits end. Anyway he did it again on Thursday and I won’t let him back in ( it’s my tenancy not his). Normally I get the begging but this time he’s agreed to go to the Salvation Army. I suppose one part ov me is relieved as it’s so hard to live with all the lies and behaviour but on the other I will miss the good times when he’s normal but they have become less and less. I know the problem will worsen in the Salvation Army and then it’s game over for me I will have to try and move on. It’s so hard but I’ve accepted it’s not my drug problem and I don’t deserve the shit I put up with. I’m just like you it’s so hard to let go but it’s just unmanageable to live with . It’s difficult but we have no say over what other people do. I just hope to get some stability back in my life. I hope you know your not on ur own in this position and I really hope things go your way
